Kerrington & Joshua: Submission in Marriage

Hi Friends! 

I want to share an excerpt from my book series, Savior: A Perfect Love Story.

It is about submission in marriage. 

While writing this book series, I conducted extensive research on marriage, including what factors contribute to a successful marriage and what can lead to its breakdown and potential divorce. 

From my study, I found that marriage built on the foundation of God can be beautiful, magical, and rewarding. 

In our culture and society, submission gets a bad rep. But I don’t think people fully understand

what proper submission is. 

Submission in a biblical and godly way is a beautiful thing. 

After all, in the bible, it says, “Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give into fear.” (1 Peter 3:6)

In the same vein, I love this quote: “A woman whose husband gives her consistency and security will effortlessly and willingly submit to him.”

I’m a big believer that when a woman is loved properly by a man and he respects her and cherishes her, she will love him, respect him, and submit to him. 

What do you think? 

Please share with me in the comments below.

For now, let’s jump into the excerpt! 

In this part of the story, the main characters, Joshua and Kerrington, attend premarital counseling, where they discuss their ideas of submission in marriage with their beloved minister and counselor, Bro. Winberry.

Savior: A Perfect Love Story Book Excerpt:

Kerrington

In today’s society, the concept of submission is not widely accepted. Many people view it as counter-culture and archaic. But, in marriage, it’s a great thing. It allows a husband to provide his wife with loving leadership, under God’s authority.” 

Bro. Winberry turned to Joshua. "What does submission mean to you, Joshua?" 

“Submission to me is Kerrington, and I am yielding to each other as husband and wife. I will submit to her just as I expect her to submit to me. It's not about controlling her and telling her what to do. It's mutual respect and love for each other. As a man, I believe that I’m a good leader. But I also know I’m marrying an intelligent woman who is a great leader. Kerrington is someone I can trust and seek advice and wise counsel from, just as she does from me.”

Bro. Winberry said. “Very good. You're right, Joshua. Your wife is not your servant. She is your equal. She’s not someone that you can control.” 

Bro. Winberry then turned to me. "Kerrington, what does submission mean to you?" 

“Submission to me is a relationship of respect and honor toward my husband. It allows my husband to be the leader of our household, and I respect and support him in that role because I know he loves me and won't bring harm to me or our future family. Basically, it’s me trusting Joshua to lead me as God leads him.”

Bro. Winberry nodded. “Very good. That’s a great definition.”

“Joshua and Kerrington, a love between a husband and wife should be an earthly manifestation of Christ's love for the church. I want you both to pattern your marriage after Christ's relationship with the church. You do this by submitting to one another out of reverence for God. In your marriage, you should be mutually submissive to each other, which means you should always love, honor, and respect each other."

Joshua and I nodded as Bro. Winberry continued speaking.

"When you two get married, you will become one flesh. This means that you should not put anyone above God. You are one body. So, the same care that you give to yourself, you give to your spouse." 

"In marriage, your pride, ego, and selfishness go out the window. You work for your spouse's good. Sometimes you must deny yourself and your needs for what is best for your spouse. The kind of selfless love and submission required in marriage is possible with God and the Holy Spirit living inside of you. And God will help you become the wife and husband you need to be. This will be challenging for you both because, as humans, we are naturally inclined to be selfish. But, as husband and wife, you must forgive and serve each other. ” 

Bro. Winberry turned. "Joshua, you must see your wife as an extension of yourself. When you two get married and become one, Kerrington becomes a part of you. You should help Kerrington become the best woman she can be. She should flourish under you. When you love her properly, she will willingly submit to you. You should never have to demand submission from Kerrington. And God will bless you when you love your wife properly. Whatever you do to Kerrington, you do to yourself. When you cherish and love Kerrington, you cherish and love yourself.”

Joshua nodded. “Yes, sir. I understand.”

Bro. Winberry turned to me. “And the same thing goes for you, Kerrington. You want to respect Joshua as your husband, honor him, and affirm him with your words. You don't tear him down. You build him up and support him." 

I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

"Great. Let’s keep going.”

“It’s important to treat your spouse right because, in the end, God will hold you both responsible for how you treated and loved your spouse on earth. Your marriage should reflect God's love. Marriage will not always be easy. Some days will be harder than others. And on those hard days, you must lean into each other and love each other more. Do you understand?” 

Joshua and I nodded. “Yes.” 

Well, that’s all I have for now!

Happy reading!

XO,

Dr. Rich 💋